the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
