Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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