I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
