It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
