Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
