U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
