she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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