So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
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