you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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