I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Randomize
