her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
