I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
it was like eating out sand paper
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
I party with great urgency now.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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