sorry about calling you the devil all night.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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