i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
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