my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
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