girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Randomize
