doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Acid is not a monday night drug
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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