Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize