I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Randomize
