I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
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