it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Randomize
