I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
