i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Randomize
