weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
