who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Randomize
