i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
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