I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
