It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
