He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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