can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
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