Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize
