if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I had to cum in my sink.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
