She is in my trunk
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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