Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
We need a shit load of segways right now
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
