I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
My vagina is very pro this idea
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
