No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
why do cheetos always look like penises
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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