we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
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