im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
