I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Randomize