We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Randomize
