I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
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At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
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He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
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