im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
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I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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