nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
