Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
