Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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