Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
