Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
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hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
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Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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