At least make sure they are 18
Why
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Randomize
