i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
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