Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
Are we still banned from the library?
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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