Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Randomize
