just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
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