She went from zero to smokin in five shots
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
Randomize
