I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
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