Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Randomize
