Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
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