if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
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