somebody snuck up and got me drunk
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I think a kid would responsible me up
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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