I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
