We're like a lot better than the average bears
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
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