At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
