so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
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