He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Randomize
