Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Randomize
