take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Randomize
