so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
