I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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