Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Randomize
